I have OCD. I’m serious. For a long long time, I’ve been very
particular about wanting certain things to be a certain way. I just chalked it
up to aspiring for perfection. But lately I’ve come to realize that it goes way
beyond that.
According to Wikipedia, Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is
an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce
uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at
reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions.
Phew! What a depressing definition. But it’s not
actually that bad. My symptoms of OCD include repeated hand-washing (when I’m
home, I wash hands at least 20 times a day), hoarding up things… well books and
other paraphernalia in my case. But they always have some memories associated
with them that it makes me unwilling to part with them. What’s wrong with that,
you might ask? Well, I’ll just give one example: I still have the I-card from KG
with the safety pin still attached; it lies in a white box at the bottom of my
shelf and is always on the top of the
rest of things, in the lower-right corner. Anything I chop is exactly rectangular in shape. I also have the habit of arranging
things, whatever they may be, in the perfect
orientation. Stacks of books, files, folders not neatly arranged are a strict
no-no. The landline phone in my room should be exactly perpendicular to the
wall. There shouldn’t be a speck of dust anywhere. The keys, tissues and phone
should always be in the same corner
of the table, not an inch out of place. Shall I go on?
I used to joke
about OCD with my bestie earlier, but when I found myself arranging all A4 size
sheets in one particular type of folder, taking extra care while doing this and
becoming sincreasingly anxious if I didn’t get that particular style of
folder.. I knew the problem was a bit closer to home than I earlier
anticipated.
But I’m not too
worried about it… I’ve not been diagnosed with anything, it’s just a hunch. And
it’s just making me more efficient and organized, so I’m not really
complaining.
Anyhow… I have
not deviated from my resolution to update regularly. I hope this remains the case
throughout the year. Final exams of this semester are coming up, so hopefully I’ll
have my nose buried in a book (textbook!)
sometime soon. Speaking of which, I gotta arrange my bookshelf again.
Ta!
